The No. 22 Tequila Patrón ESM team felt almost untouchable in the last moments of this year’s 12 hours of Sebring with known madman and 2016 Sebring winner Pipo Derani behind the wheel. Fittingly, their extremely lime green car just was the one that won Sebring on St. Patrick’s Day, despite having last year’s Sebring winners right behind them in the final hour. The final stretch of the race began with Sebring pole winner Tristan Vautier eating a wall in spectacular airborne fashion in the No. 90 Spirit of Daytona Cadillac DPI-V.R at the start of the eleventh hour. The onboard view from Vautier’s car showed a headlight going out on the car just before Vautier’s car didn’t turn enough to make Turn 17 and plowed into a tire wall instead. The No. 55 Mazda DPi, which had been leading the Prototype class, got a nose-ful of the debris from Vautier’s crash and was forced to pit for a new front clip. The Jalopnik Bump-wearing No. 69 Acura NSX GT3 … [Read more...] about Very Green Car Wins The 12 Hours Of Sebring But Second Place Said It Was ‘Fucking Ace’ On TV
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Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering rock stars hating their own fans, workout albums, the Olympics, the Draymond Green nutshot, and more. Your letters! Anonymous: So, I may or may not have taken a football player’s final for $20 yesterday. It raised his final grade by a letter. I don’t know how to feel about this. Am I morally obligated to self-report to the NCAA or am I a school hero for helping one our athletes stay academically eligible? Only $20? Tell him the next final will cost him $100 or you’re going to Mark Emmert. Surely he knows an assistant linebackers coach who knows a booster who knows a car dealer who can front him the cash. As for moral obligations, you already know where this site stands with all that shit. As far as I’m concerned, you are performing a basic service for the athlete, one that ought to be legal and only harms the cheater in the long run. … [Read more...] about Should I Feel Bad For Helping A College Football Player Cheat?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering March Madness, ugly foods, boogers, and more. Before we get deep into the bowels of the Funbag, one quick note: I’m out next week on Spring Break with my kids. This will not be like your Spring Break. Your Spring Break will be in Lake Havasu surrounded by fruity drinks and horny twentysomethings. I, on the other hand, will be stuck in Virginia traffic yelling at people. That’s my fate, and I have accepted it. So no Funbag next week. Now, your letters: Patrick: I will go up to 50 feet out of my way to pee outside on a nice day. This is assuming no one in the neighborhood is peeking over the back fence. Where are the best places to urinate outside? You’ve come to the right place, sir. As a connoisseur of outdoor urination, I have peed in a great many outdoor spaces, sometimes legally! HEAVEN. Anyway, the key to a good outdoor piss is … [Read more...] about The Best Places To Urinate Outside, Ranked
I don’t remember the first time I bumped the back of my daughter’s head on the top of the passenger side rear door when attempting to put her in the car seat, but I remember the last time I did it — Saturday afternoon. We were on our way to Whole Foods (whose hot bar is a surprisingly good food option for dads with two-year-olds). When I bumped her head, she took a moment to look at me like “Really, nigga?” Damn.” and then she started crying. They weren’t real tears. I didn’t bump it hard enough for there to be any pain. She just likes it when she has a boo-boo and we kiss it, because she’s a baby who enjoys being babied. That didn’t stop me from feeling like shit about it though. One of my parenting goals is for her to make it to 21 concussion free, but if I’m already bumping her head on doors, I might have to adjust that expectation to 11. I didn’t finish any of the baby books we bought before my daughter was … [Read more...] about Negative Parenting Milestones They Don’t Tell You About In Baby Books
For all that the ongoing FBI investigation into college basketball’s underground economy has and could yet reveal, nothing is more obvious and undeniable than this: The on-stage performers in a multimillion-dollar entertainment industry do, in fact, have value beyond athletic scholarships and small cost-of-school-attendance stipends. In response, observers ranging from ESPN’s Jay Bilas to Los Angeles Lakers guard Lonzo Ball to UConn football coach-cum-NCAA resistance-joiner Randy Edsall have called for a simple, obvious solution to what looks like endemic rule-breaking. All of them, the college basketball commentator and the recent All-American and the cartoon hardass with the whistle around his neck, have suggested that the NCAA throw its amateurism rules in the trash can, and let college athletes be paid. The reasoning for this is simple, and probably familiar to you. No prohibition means no black market, which means no more need for subterfuge or shady middlemen or sub … [Read more...] about This Is How To Pay College Athletes
The engines are already pulling away by the time we get to a reported dryer fire. There won’t be any footage of flames lapping up from the basement or smoke inhalation victims being wheeled into ambulances through the drizzling gloom—not tonight anyway. The rain makes shootings unlikely too, in Adam’s opinion, but there might be car crashes, and if they’re bad enough those can sell. Thirty-two, but with the short-cropped hair and stubble mustache of a fresh police recruit, Adam is what’s known in local news as a stringer: the photographers and videographers that cruise the city documenting accidents, crimes, disasters of all sizes in the hopes of selling their footage to media outlets faster than their competitors. His black tactical jacket and safety vest are partly inspired by a former obsession with airsoft guns, while the big velcro PRESS patches adorning them are ripped from the playbook of Scott Lane, the LA stringer documented in the Netflix series … [Read more...] about Riding Along With a Night Stringer, Chasing Car Crashes for Local News
On the surface, working from home would seem to give one unparalleled control over one’s diet. Not only do you control your schedule, but you’re right there with your fridge. What could possibly go wrong? Order in lunch, fire up Slack, and plan your afternoon shower. It’s Work From Home Week! From our couches and our local coffeeshops, Lifehacker is bringing you advice on maintaining your productivity, balance, and sanity, whether you’re working at home for just a day or a whole career. In short, everything. Working from home gives one a lot of freedom, but it’s almost too free. One advantage of working in a traditional office environment is the structure and rules. Without societal norms and cues from other co-workers, it’s easy to become a feral beast, and just graze on cheese puffs endlessly, or not eat at all. When you work under your own steam, with a lack of any real supervision, you have to trust that you are being as productive as you … [Read more...] about How to Eat Like a Human Even Though You Work From Home
I went to Dallas to talk to John Redding about the 1966 Datsun 1600 Roadster that’s been hidden away in his storage space for years. On my second evening there, we were standing in front of that storage space, and he wasn’t crying, but his voice was quivering. I asked him if he was okay. “I hate feelings,” he said. “I am a very logical person. And when you start talking about things that don’t have anything to do with logic, just emotions, it’s uncomfortable for me.” Then he looked down and said, “But you need to know this stuff, and if it gets too intense, I will ask for a break.” I spent two and a half days with John and also his wife talking about the Datsun, John’s father, John’s father’s devastating accident, his father’s death, John’s own health struggles, a project that’s gone off the rails after a cost of $40,000, but that he describes as a “weird automotive monument to my … [Read more...] about The Datsun Should Have Been A Bond. It Became A Monument Instead
Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe C4 makes for that most daunting of decisions, a nearly out of warranty modern day Alfa. Let’s see if its price might make it worth rolling the dice. Weathermen (and women) are the most easily derided of news reporters, simply because their prognostications are literally at the whims of mother nature. Weather prediction is still an imperfect science, despite all the satellites, Doppler Radar, and green screen maps at the disposal of the professional meteorologist. Perhaps much easier to predict was the outcome of a storm that blew through here last Friday, that being a 1991 Geo Storm. It may have offered the amenity of a tow bar so you could have it tag along with your RV, but at $3,990 even its rare wagonback bodystyle couldn’t raise much bluster. In the end, it fell in a 70-percent Crack Pipe loss to wrap up the week. Have you ever heard people tell you that you need to get more fiber in your diet? Apparently fiber helps you poop … [Read more...] about At $45,000, Could You Be Tempted By This 2015 Alfa Romeo 4C?
Back in 1973, Steve Miller Band’s “The Joker” was blaring from the PA in a California warehouse as two dozen women in flared jeans assembled Pong circuit boards. The smell of corned beef and marijuana wafted down the manufacturing line. Orders for Atari’s landmark table tennis video game were still pouring in on the crisp October day when Elaine Shirley first giddily entered the warehouse to join the all-woman crew of Pong cabinet-stuffers. A woman in a muumuu had hired Shirley, 18 years old and fresh out of high school, on the spot after Shirley confirmed she could play the guitar. “She wanted to make sure I was good with my fingers,” Shirley, now 62, told me. The pay was $2.25 an hour, sixty cents above minimum wage. By Thanksgiving she was making $2.75. Shirley had grown up in poverty in Austin, Texas, and moved out to Silicon Valley when she heard through her cousin that a new company called Atari had lots of job openings. I’m a joker. … [Read more...] about Sex, Pong, And Pioneers: What Atari Was Really Like, According To Women Who Were There